I hate my OB

Has anyone else had this trouble? I hate my OB. As in, hate them so much, I left my appointment today in tears.

I went in with bleeding early in my pregnancy-- around 6 weeks-- and was diagnosed with a subchorionic haematoma. This bumped me up slightly higher in the risk level, but not that much. I went in at 6 weeks, 7 weeks, 9 weeks, and now at 12 weeks. First two appointments, I had a great doctor. I've been trying to get an appointment with him again since, but no dice.

My first "official" appointment was horrible. I spent the whole time getting a lecture on how I'm morbidly obese and how I obviously have gestational diabetes and I don't take care of myself and don't care about the baby. Why did I get this lecture? Because I declined having several tests for gestational diabetes, including a 24 hour urine catch and an early 1 hour screening.

Here's the thing: at 9 weeks pregnant, I weighed around 190lbs. I'm around 5'4". Based on BMI's formula, that DOES make me obese. However, at this weight, pre-pregnancy, I was wearing between a 12 and a 14.  The nurse even remarked to me that without the machine, she never would have known I was morbidly obese.

Um, hi? Maybe because I'm not?

The nurse took it upon herself to diagnose me as diabetic and put me on a restrictive, low carb diet, as well as berated me and harassed me about the different ways I could take the test. Didn't matter how many times I said no, I understood the risks, but I'd done my own research and was declining it. The doctor went through the same thing, though she at least acknowledged I was within my right to decline as long as I understood it was AMA.

The reason why I declined the test was simple. Until recently, it wasn't considered a routine test. You had it basically if ketones turned up in your pee test. I'm 28 and in relatively good shape. Based on that, even with weight as an elevated risk factor, I have a 4% chance of developing gestational diabetes. The test is meant to screen out the needle in a haystack. It also has a pretty high rate of false positives. And personally? Since I don't eat a lot of sugary things, the glucola would probably make me sick as hell. I can't even drink regular soda without feeling gross. I am comfortable with declining it.

I assumed that this would all be over and done with after last appointment, but apparently not. Going in today, the first thing out of the doctor's mouth was when could we schedule my 1 hour screening? Uh, we are not. I've declined it TWICE. Her whole attitude changed from there. She was terse and demeaning, telling me that I obviously didn't care about my health or my baby, that my baby would die from complications, that I was being stupid, and that I was tying their hands and they could not give me proper care if I refused taking this test SEVERAL times. She told me she "didn't feel like" looking for the baby's heartbeat on Doppler, so I had an ultrasound instead.

The only good thing about that appointment is that the baby looks good.

I didn't even get a chance to ask her the couple questions wanted to because she made it clear that she was done soon as I was not following her advice to a T.

Better still? My blood pressure was borderline at this appointment. It was high at the last one, which was, coincidentally, right after I had bloodwork done. Let's ignore that giant panic attack I'd had because I hate having labwork done, shall we? But according to this doctor, anxiety doesn't cause high blood pressure. Sure, that's why my blood pressure's always been low otherwise. I guess my GP is an idiot for mistaking my low blood pressure all this time.

But no, there's no way I could have crappy blood pressure from anything else, so I've been officially elevated to a high risk pregnancy and I now need to go in biweekly for blood pressure checks and ultrasounds. I asked if they could take my blood pressure after the appointment and was told they "don't do that". I left in tears.

I have a couple calls into other practices. I'm meeting with a highly recommended midwife on Monday and have a couple other places I'm looking into. There is no reason I should spend a whole day depressed and feeling like I should stop eating because of a doctor. I shouldn't leave feeling stupid, worthless, and in tears. That's not the kind of person I want to deliver my baby.

But hey, the baby is perfect and that's what matters, right?